Hey, guess what today is? It was on a Sunday afternoon, July 30th 5 years ago that God took me. Yep, I became a Christian this day in 2000. So, happy rebirthday to me 
July 30, 2005
you look like a monkey, and you act like one too
July 25, 2005
no direction home
Okay, my birthday is just around the corner. Okay, actually it’s not until April, but still! Here’s what I want…
July 20, 2005
sleepless in port williams
On Monday night, I may have got around an hour of sleep. Since I don’t deal well with sleep deprivation, I came home yesterday, made a nice cool supper for the girls, and then went to go lie down. A few hours later, my wife comes in and wakes me up to tell me about a phone call. And there’s some fellow telling me that he’s sorry he woke me, but the realserver is down.
Waking up, opening a terminal window, and fixing servers/processes is nothing new to me. I used to have a pager permanently welded to my hip that declared every single minor hiccup in my company’s network to me. That’s what I found so funny in this particular instance: the utter mechanical way I handled it. I told the person on the phone to give me a few minutes (and my only reason for that was I needed all my fingers to type). I opened a terminal, killed the dead processes, restarted them, checked the load, checked the traffic, opened up a client (RealPlayer, in this case), and made sure it worked.
Here’s the rub though… as I’m sitting there in my sleep deprived stupor, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out who I was talking to on the phone. I knew I had to contact the client and let them know that the issue had been corrected, but which client was it? Waitasecond… this is my server. Waitasecond… it was the realserver. I don’t even use the realserver. Waitasecond… only one person uses my realserver…
Finally my brain woke up enough to realize that it was Rich from A&O Ministries. So, Rich, thank you for taking the time to call me. Don’t concern yourslef, as I fell back asleep in no time. I feel much better this morning! WooWoo!
July 15, 2005
an open letter to one I have wronged
I was not raised in a Christian home. I do not come from a “good, church-going family” and I was never taught the fundamentals of the faith. My only concept of “absolute moral standards” were based on a love of family. If it hurt my family, then it was wrong. If it was of benefit to my family, then it was right. Friends were expendable. Co-workers were tools. And strangers were more or less worthless.
One could offer that information as an excuse for past wrongs, but I do not. Every wrong I’ve ever committed found it’s origin in my own sinful desires. It wasn’t as though I didn’t know God existed – I rejected Him, hated Him, and every wrong I’ve ever committed was me spitting in His face, screaming “You’re not the boss of me!”
So, a situation has recently arisen where I’ve been placed in a situation that I have direct contact with someone I have wronged. I could make excuses, and say it wasn’t my fault… I was just along for the ride, but that would be a lie. In this particular situation, there are only two possible understandings of my role. Either I was a home-wrecker, or I was an opportunistic weasel. Either way, I became involved with someone just as another relationship was coming to a close. There was not even an opportunity for reconciliation while I stood in the way. Therefore, I was an object of pain, of hatred.
Pain like that doesn’t just dry up with time. It always leaves a tender sting. So now, as we are entering circumstances where I will have some form of contact with this individual no matter what, I see that the pain still lingers, and I continue to be the object of animosity.
So, to that individual (they know who they are): I humbly, and earnestly beg your forgiveness. I humble myself before you, without justification, without excuses. I have wronged you. I didn’t always understand that, but I understand it now. God has shown me my own wickedness, and I confess that sin to you and cry your pardon. My Lord and God demands that I respect the honor due you, and hold it in extremely high regard. I pray for you every day, for all those involved in these circumstances. I am not your adversary, but your advocate. I speak often of the how vital you are, how utterly essential your role is. I do not seek to usurp you, but to encourage you. While my highest concern is always for an individual’s walk with Christ Jesus, please understand that this is not in spite of you, but that you are a God ordained part of that walk. You are under no obligation to forgive me my trespasses, but I seek your pardon only that I might help strengthen your relationship with your child.
In the end, however, I am like Job as he stood before the Lord’s piercing questions. “Behold! I am insignificant! What can I reply to You? I lay my hand on my mouth. Once I have spoken, and I will not answer; Even twice, and I will add nothing more.” (Job 40:4-5)
July 11, 2005
upgrade
Whew – I finally managed to upgrade my blog software, and hopefully minimize the comment spammers. Everything appears to be working, but if you run across anything that’s not, let me know. I’m still making modifications here n’ there, but between compiles for my real job.
LATER EDIT: Okay, I’ve made comments more difficult by slapping in one of those “are you human” image code thingies. After checking my logs and seeing more that 2500 spam attempts today alone, I figured it was worth the minor inconvenience. It’s only 4 digits, and I made easy to read.
July 9, 2005
wedding day
One of my Sunday school students is getting married today, and she kindly invited my wife and I to witness their union, and share in the fellowship with them. Becky is one of the most intelligent young women I’ve worked with at NMBC. Her quiet demeanor often mutes her great sense of humour, but the observant quickly realize that, though her lips aren’t nessesarily flapping up and down as much as someone like me, there is a tremendous amount going on behind those eyes. Her dearly beloved, Nathan, is no less brilliant both in his intellectual gifts, and artistic prowess. While I enjoyed his occasional cameo appearences in my Sunday School classes every now and then, I confess I don’t know him nearly as well as I’d like.
God is good! Not that He conforms to some human standard of “goodness” but that all that we can ever know of “good” finds it origin in God. Through the covenant of marriage, God demonstrates in a very small, but powerful way, His goodness through the love He gives us for one and other. Praise His Name!
July 8, 2005
big pile o’ sheep
I believe God is a point-maker. When he wants to be clear, He’s VERY clear. So, when I made a post a little over an hour ago about why God chose to compare us to sheep. 35 minutes ago, Associated Press published this news report. That means that there’s a very good possibility that the incident in question occured while I was making my post. *theme to twilight zone*
ISTANBUL, Turkey – First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.
In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.
“There’s nothing we can do. They’re all wasted,” Nevzat Bayhan, a member of one of 26 families whose sheep were grazing together in the herd, was quoted as saying by Aksam.
The estimated loss to families in the town of Gevas, located in Van province in eastern Turkey, tops $100,000, a significant amount of money in a country where average GDP per head is around $2,700.
“Every family had an average of 20 sheep,” Aksam quoted another villager, Abdullah Hazar as saying. “But now only a few families have sheep left. It’s going to be hard for us.”
A big kudos to Scott McClare at The Crusty Curmudgeon for bringing this story to my attention! I nearly choked on my tongue!
stupid sheep
Jesus was going through all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness. Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. (Matthew 9:35-36)
Why are the sheep distressed and dispirited without a shepherd?
“I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. “He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. “He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. “I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. (John 10:11-15)
Again with the sheep? Why did Jesus compare we humans to sheep, even those whom he called to be His? Is it because we were so valuable? Is it because we provide something to Christ that He didn’t have before? Like wool to the sheep-owner? I’ve studied the Scriptures, I’ve consulted the commentaries, I’ve rifled through the Bible dictonaries and Greek/Hebrew lexicons, and it was actually this video (click here) that revealed the answer to me.
Why does the Creator, the sovriegn of all existance, the Saviour constantly compare humans to sheep?
Because we’re just so stupid!
