funeral

Won’t you come
To my funeral when my days are done
Life’s not long
And so I hope when I am finally dead and gone
That you’ll gather round when I am lowered into the ground

                        -Crash Test Dummies, “At My Funeral”

I’m starting to come to the understanding that my sense of humour doesn’t enhance my scholastic works in the eyes of my professors. In my practical ministry class, we have two term papers to write. The first one is to lay out a wedding, from a pastoral perspective (including pre-marital counselling and follow-up). I chose to be fairly humorous on that one, with my couple Olaf and Helga, which earned me a less-than-impressive B-. The second term paper was to be a funeral, again dealing with it from a pastoral perspective, starting with news of the death through follow-up. My attitude towards death is fairly flippant (which my wife says is a defence mechanism), but I need to empathize with those suffering loss. I, therefor, chose to be dead serious (pun semi-intended) for my funeral paper.

If you’re interested, you can read the paper here (pdf). It’s substantially fictional, drawing on composites of several funerals I attended, as well as what I’ve learned here in this class. I guess being serious pays off, because Dr. Lee McDonald gave me an A. Tonight’s our last New Testament intro class, so I’m hoping I’ll find out how I did on my NT term paper. I know I’m going to lose marks on grammar errors (there’s at least 5 occassions when I accidentally omitted a word), because I didn’t have enough time to have someone else proof it. Ah well, we shall see.

may i offer you a legume?

So I’m eating some peanut M&M’s during my C.E. class, and I start to think about the fact that peanuts are a legume, like beans. And then I started to think about chocolate being made from another legume, cocoa beans. So, I’m eating legume coated legumes. So, I think they should change the name from M&Ms to L&Ls.

attack or retreat?

Marsha and I are back from the ‘weekend getaway.’ We’ve been attending a little marriage seminar for the past 5 weeks, and it’s been a great time. The coolest thing about it was the very first night. Marsha and I arrived early to help out a bit, and everything was ready to go for the night. They were expecting around 20+ couples to show up, and then something amazing happened. The couples started arriving, filled up all the tables, and then just kept on coming. In the end, somewhere around 60 couples showed up!

60 couples wanted to find out “How To Make The Most Of Marriage,” which is the title of the video seminar by Dr. Kevin Leman (Here’s a video clip). While Leman is a believer, he’s also a psychiatrist (Safety Tip: Don’t confuse psychiatrists with psychologists, both hate that. ) and is approaching most of his topics from a psychological perspective, with a God-loving heart. The last two sessions of the seminar were to be held at the Westin Hotel in Halifax, where we’d all have a little “getaway” for the weekend. Now, obviously, less people are able to do stuff like that, so again, they were expecting 20-ish couples to be able to make it. Once again, 57 couples diligently committed to the overnight retreat, and had a great time.

Hang on, did I say “retreat?” Whoops, I meant “attack.” Jesus promised that “upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” Gates, my friends, are defensive mechanisms. The gates don’t march on us to be defeated. No, we march on them and smash them down! Those gates were severely damaged this weekend as a to folks gave a testimony on Friday night, talking about the relationship breakdown they’d experienced. They’d separated, divorced and went their separate ways. He moved to Newfoundland while she stayed here in Nova Scotia. To make a long story short, God healed that relationship, and last night, those two actually got married again! My senior pastor performed the ceremony right there at the seminar, and we all sat aghast in awe. What an amazing testimony to an amazing God!

Although Marsha has a nasty head cold, we still enjoyed ourselves a great deal. We got to really talk about some things, and enjoyed just having a night to ourselves. I am so blessed with a wife who sees me for who I am, and loves me anyway. Over the past year I’ve been called both a hero and a devil, but my wife knows that I’m neither. I’m “just pete” and she likes it that way. My wife is a testimony to the undeserved grace of God, and I love her with all my heart. May I never forget that, even for a second, and continually give thanks to God and honour her as the gift she truly is.

Another profound moment this weekend was when I heard the following poem. Don’t let this happen, folks. Those last couple of lines made me pretty misty, and I’ve been in relationships where that’s exactly what happened. May Marsha and I bash those gates down everytime they try to stand…

The Wall (source unknown)

Their wedding picture mocked them from the table, these two,
whose minds no longer touched each other.

They lived with such a heavy barricade between them
that neither battering ram of words nor
artilleries of touch could break it down.

Somewhere, between the oldest child’s first tooth
and the youngest daughter’s graduation, they
lost each other.

Throughout the years,
each slowly unraveled that tangled ball of string called self,
and as they tugged at stubborn knots,
each his searching self from the other.

Sometimes she cried at night
and begged the whispering darkness to tell her who she was.
He lay beside her, snoring like a hibernating bear,
unaware of her winter.

Once, after they had made love,
he wanted to tell her how afraid he was of dying,
but fearing to show his naked soul,
he spoke instead of the beauty of her eyes.

She took a course in modern art,
trying to find her self in colors splashed upon a canvas,
and complained to other women
about men who were insensitive.

He climbed into a tomb called “the office,”
wrapped his mind in a shroud of paper figures and
buried himself in customers.

Slowly, the wall between them rose,
cemented by the mortar of indifference.

One day, reaching out to touch each other,
they found a barrier they could not penetrate,
and recoiling from the coldness of the stone,
each retreated from the stranger on the other side.

For when love dies,
it is not in a moment of angry battle,
nor when fiery bodies lose their heat.

It lies panting, exhausted, expiring
at the bottom of a wall it could not scale.

psycho

I mentioned the computer error in the grading of my psychology test a couple posts ago. Well my poor prof, Dr. Sonya Symons graciously gave the group who wrote the erroneous test (the morning class) one extra point, essentially marking the test out of 49 rather than the origional 50. She explained the situation in class, and then clarified it even further in an email.

Well then some folks in the afternoon class cried “Foul!” and felt they should get an extra point too, even though there was no computer error on their test. Dr. Symons sent another email to further clarify the situation explaining that the afternoon class didn’t have a computer error, and therefor wasn’t having a point added.

Then some folks in the morning class cried “Foul!” and felt that she shouldn’t take away the point she’d already granted to them, and to do so was unfair. This even though she’d never said anything of the sort. So, her simple act of grace is being repaid with angry emails from immature people stomping their feet. As she said in an email, “2% of one test worth 15% (0.3 points on the whole course) – we have to learn to put things in perspective.”

There’s too many fresh-out-of-high-school kids in my psych class

happy burrsday!

Shelby (occassionally pet-named ‘Shelburrs’ or just ‘Burrs’ – both of which cause her much cringing) hits the second year of her teenage-ness today, so offer prayers of praise and thanksgiving on her behalf if you will. More importantly, pray for Shelby’s mom who has the joy of raising two teenage girls, and yet somehow still doesn’t have any grey hair. I have only one daughter, who’s not yet a teenager, and I already have a bountiful crop of grey to harvest.

In other news, the term is almost over and thankfully I really don’t have that many exams. Christian Ed and Practical Ministry have no final exam, so that leaves Greek, New Testament and Psych. One hard lesson I’ve had to relearn about school is that the teachers, especially in the intro courses, aren’t testing to see if you’re smart – they already know you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be there. They’re testing to see if you can retain the information that you’ve been recieving throughout the term, recall it, and apply it. For an opinionated blowhard like me, that’s a difficult lesson to get through my thick skull. Since both Psych and Greek are pretty much no-brainers (there’s only one way to paradigm ‘agapao’, and psych is all multiple choice) that leaves New Testament. Our discussions this term have been limited to the gospels, and in terms of scholarly criticism, it’s been extremely surface-level (hence Intro to New Testament). My job on the exam is to keep it surface-level, and not go deeper than nessesary, especially when that means omitting some of the over-simplified theories and evidences concerning such-and-such. Yes, it’s obvious that John is very different from the synoptics, but I still have to document how it is different on the exam, and not run off into theories of Greek philosophy, proto-Gnosticism, or Jewish Wisdom-liturature potentially underlying those differences. While interesting discussions, it really won’t help my marks.

sweet psych swap

Due to a computer error in which the two answers were swapped on my Psychology midterm, Dr. Symons has decided that she doesn’t want to make work for herself or her assistants, and has give the entire class one extra point on the test. That takes my A- to an A, so woohoo!

I won’t know my term marks until after exams, but I’m sure they’ll pale in comparison to Alyssa’s accomplishments this term. She brought home a report card on Friday that any child would be proud of, and it puts her in line for honours provided she can keep up with her math homework. Alyssa’s accomplishment is even more amazing considering how helpful she’s been around the house, and working to practice her piano as well.

And I just found out from Matt, my Greek T.A., that I got an A on my last Greek grammar test. So double-woo-hoo.

Yay! I got an A- on my psych test, which is considerably better than my last test. I’m thankful the Lord encouraged me to wake up a little earlier yesterday morning and do some extra studying for that baby. Ooh, and as a bonus, Laura “TaunTaun Boots” Cann slipped me a copy of the sequal to Drum On Yo Back. Once again, Jean of mArc has outdone himself, so go watch My Girl: Drum On Yo Back II, but make sure you’ve seen Drum On Yo Back first.

I’m also in the process of composing a letter to my “mentors in ministry,” those individuals who have has such a profound effect on my pursuit of a theological education and answering the call of (potentially) full time ministry. I just want to do a little roll-call right now, and especially give thanks to the following individuals who have mentored me, and provided models of ministry, and demonstrated what it means to become more like Christ. In alphabetical order (not by importance, or height, or anything)…

Terry Atkinson
Chris Austin
Laurence Coldwell
Daniel Cormier
Bill Davenport
John DeLong
Jon Dixon
Craig Evans
Melanie Feltmate
Paul Fowler
Todd & Carrie Jones
Tyler & Bonnie Jones
Allison Kirkbride
Bob Knowles
*shakes fist at sky* LEVIES!
Lee McDonald
Oliver Ohsburg
Archie Schofield
Kim Thompson
James White

Praise God for these folks. There are lots of other people who have changed my life, and affected my Christian walk, but these folks have been my most direct mentors, and have discipled me either very directly, or indirectly by example.

Yay! I got an A- on my psych test, which is considerably better than my last test. I’m thankful the Lord encouraged me to wake up a little earlier yesterday morning and do some extra studying for that baby. Ooh, and as a bonus, Laura “TaunTaun Boots” Cann slipped me a copy of the sequal to Drum On Yo Back. Once again, Jean of mArc has outdone himself, so go watch My Girl: Drum On Yo Back II, but make sure you’ve seen Drum On Yo Back first.

I’m also in the process of composing a letter to my “mentors in ministry,” those individuals who have has such a profound effect on my pursuit of a theological education and answering the call of (potentially) full time ministry. I just want to do a little roll-call right now, and especially give thanks to the following individuals who have mentored me, and provided models of ministry, and demonstrated what it means to become more like Christ. In alphabetical order (not by importance, or height, or anything)…

Terry Atkinson
Chris Austin
Laurence Coldwell
Daniel Cormier
Bill Davenport
John DeLong
Jon Dixon
Craig Evans
Melanie Feltmate
Paul Fowler
Todd & Carrie Jones
Tyler & Bonnie Jones
Allison Kirkbride
Bob Knowles
*shakes fist at sky* LEVIES!
Lee McDonald
Oliver Ohsburg
Archie Schofield
Kim Thompson
James White

Praise God for these folks. There are lots of other people who have changed my life, and affected my Christian walk, but these folks have been my most direct mentors, and have discipled me either very directly, or indirectly by example.

drive-by posting

It’s midterm time, and there’s lots of work to be done. I have two short assignments to write for psychology, and a test in that subject on Monday. I found a cool little site that has streaming videos of much of the stuff we’re working on, so that’s helpful by giving visual cues to the terminology. For anyone in my psych class, here’s three videos to help you study this weekend:

Consciousness

Learning: Classical & Operant Conditioning

Learning: Observational and Cognitive Approaches

Those are NOT a replacement for the textbook, because the text has lots of stuff that isn’t discussed in these videos, so avoid that temptation.

In other news, I’ve slapped together a message board for students of Acadia Divinity College to see what kind of action we can get going. I’d love to be able to offer or get help in certain areas at school, and it seemed this was a cool way to do it. You can check it out by clicking here.

It seems that my other website, WalrusGiggles.com is gaining in popularity, especially among my church family. I’ve started suggesting it as a link to a couple of family-friendly search engines. If you have a clean, family-friendly website and a sense of humour, and want to link to WalrusGiggles.com, just let me know and I’ll provide a reciprocal link back to you.

Sony has done one better on their irritating copy protection. Rather than release a patch as previously reported, they’ve decided to pull the 20 CD titles featuring their rootkit-like copy protection scheme, and are rethinking their copy protection strategy. My advise to Sony is to forget about rethinking copy protection, and start considering market positioning. Stop approaching your target market with one hand protecting your wallet, and your other hand holding a gun to ward off the “bad people.” Instead, get out there and start hugging your market! Give them kisses! Take them out to dinner and a movie! Invite them up for coffee! Yeah, there’s going to be the occasional time you’re taken advantage of, but the long term payoffs will be unfathomable.

I was mildly annoyed that Craig Evans was so tightly edited on Dateline last night that he never really got the chance to be any more than a talking head. John Dominic Crossan, of course, got lots of air time as he usually does (I think it’s because of his impish Irish accent, rather than his hyper-liberal theological positions), but there was a fairly broad range of input from various positions. Way more than you’d ever see on ABC or Fox anyway.

All in all, a pretty good week. Now it’s back to my psych paper and studying to Monday’s test. Have a great one!

happy anniversary

Today is the fourth anniversary of that wonderous day back in 2001 when Marsha and I stood before the congregation of New Minas Baptist Church, and promised in the sight of God to be united in Christian marriage until our time on this world is over, or the Lord come again. While our financial situation does not allow us any romantic getaways or expensive gifts, we will cherish this anniversary probably more than the three that have come before it. Our marriage has undergone more trials over this past year, from both within and without, than we ever though possible. Yet, here we are – dedicated to one and other more than ever.

In an day when divorce and adultry are just “par for the course,” when marriage is just another way of saying “going steady” and just as easily dismissed, God remains faithful. No matter what we have to deal with, or what trials we have already gone through, the idea of nullifying our vows to one and other never even occurred to us. May it never be so.

Keep our family in prayer, bros and sisses. Your prayers have been answered in so many ways already. Marsha has a great new job that she loves (although tiring), even though it’s in a field that she never dreamed she’d be working in. I’m doing pretty good in school, although I have way too much studying and paper-writing to do this weekend. Alyssa is doing great in school, and is looking forward to visiting her grandparents this weekend (and allowing mom and dad a little time alone). Things aren’t bad – pray that they stay that way.