Like everyone else, I get a hefty dose of spam in my email. I don’t get to see most of it, thanks to server tools like spamassassin, blackhole lists like SORBS, and Google’s fairly effective GMail filtering. Every now and then, one or two slip through the cracks and land in my inbox, such as the email below. It’s difficult to believe that there’s still folks who fall for these “help me smuggle money out of my country” scams, but I suppose the measure of human greed knows no bounds.
Far be it from me to give a spammer more exposure, but this little number was so well written, so elegantly convincing, that it needed to be shared. I’ve never gotten so many laughs from a spam email in my life…
From: williamadams001@mchsi.com (William Adams)
Subject: business transaction
Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2007 19:32:25 +0000DEAR :SIR / MADAM
I APOLOGIZE IF THE CONTENTS HERE UNDER ARE CONTRARY TO YOUR MORAL ETHICS. BUT PLEASE TREAT WITH ABSOLUTE SECRECY AND PERSONAL. I AM DR. adams william. SPECIAL ADVISER ON POLITICAL MATTERS TO PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE OF ZIMBABWE. DURING THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2002 IN ZIMBABWE, I WAS CHAIRMAN OF CAMPAIGN COMMITTEE OF MY PARTY, WHICH IS THE RULING PARTY. HUGE AMOUNT OF FUND WAS RELEASED TO MY OFFICE FOR EFFECTIVE CAMPAIGN AND TO MAKE SURE THAT PRESIDENT ROBERTS MUGABE WIN THE ELECTION AGAIN, WHICH ACTUALLY CAME TO PAST.THE FUND RELEASED TO MY OFFICE WAS TOO MUCH AND I WAS MANDATED TO MAKE USE OF THE FUND TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST ANY LUPE-HOLE OR HITCH WITHOUT! ACCOUNTABLE TO ANY PERSON/OFFICE. THE FUND WAS JUDICIOUSLY SPENT AND THE OBJECTIVE WAS ALSO ACHIEVED, AS I WAS ABLE TO SAVE SOME SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF FUND FOR MY PERSONAL USE,THIS FUND HAS BEEN DEPOSITED IN A FINANCE INSTITUTION FOR SAFEKEEPING AND TO ENABLE ME TO MAKE PROPER CONSULTATION ON THE TYPE OF BUSINESS, WHICH I WILL GO INTO AND THE COUNTRY WHERE THE FUND CAN BE FREELY INVESTED. THEREFORE, I SOLICIT FOR YOUR PARTNERSHIP IN THIS REGARD FOR YOU TO ASSIST ME TO RECEIVE THE FUND FROM THE FINANCE INSTITUTION, TO INVEST THE FUND IN YOUR COUNTRY AND IN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS SUCH AS, REAL ESTATE MANAGEMENT.AS I AM NOT A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY, AND TO ENABLE US TOGET THROUGH WITH THE INVESTMENT WITHOUT MUCH HINDRANCE FROM YOUR GOVERNMENT, I WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR A VERY POSITIVE ANSWER FROM YOU. AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU I SHALL LET YOU KNOW HOW TO MOVE THIS FOUNDS STRAIGHT TO YOUR ACCOUNT. WE ALSO WOULD WANT YOU TO GET MY FAMILY A GOOD HOME FOR HAVE MADE OUR PLANS TO SETTLE IN YOUR COUNTRY.the said funds is with security volt in london bank called nat wst bank plc,the total amount is fifty million dollars,you have to invest my seventy percent and take thirty for your self,please you can reply to me or my wife mail. christeastman000@hotmail.com
yours
adams william
urgent
I especially enjoyed the mixed case of “I AM DR. adams william.” I think I’ll print this one and frame it for the Walrus Pit.
