Hollywood Hardware

I love movies, especially great movies, but I have almost no patience for bad flicks. Lots of people can watch any movie and pick out a good bit here n’ there, but when I watch something like the Fantastic Four sequel, I want to gouge my eyes out. How do I manage to not gouge my eyes out? Just like kids make up little games to play during long car-rides, I play a little game with bad movies.

Take a steaming pile like “Mission to Mars” for example. This 2000 flick starring Gary Sinise should have been titled “Mission to The $1.99 Bin At Walmart.” With no concrete plot line, ridiculously long zero-gravity scenes, and character depth along the lines of Archie Comics, this movie made me want to gouge other people’s eyes out in an act of mercy. When a film is this bad you have to find some way to pass the time, so I play the fun family game for all ages, “What computer hardware is taped to the walls?”

Films that have a “hi-tech” premise, especially science fiction movies, are always using strange items for set construction. In the original Star Wars movie (“Episode IV: A New Hope”), for example, the Death Star was constructed using bits and pieces from hundreds of model battleship kits. These days, it’s easy to find stuff that looks hi-tech by digging in the bargain bin at Staples or Circuit City, so you will often find computer hardware all over the sets of sci-fi movies.

In “Mission to Mars” for example, there is a scene where the stars are watching an incoming transmission from a previous Mars mission. As the camera tries (and fails) to capture Jerry O’Connel (My Secret Identity) looking concerned, you can see an item on the wall behind him.

I spotted it immediately only because my former employer used them exclusively in our servers, and I even use a couple of them myself. What is it?

It’s a removable IDE hard drive kit, which converts a 5.25″ drive bay into a handy little receptacle for a 3.5″ hard drive so you have easy access for swapping out hard drives. It just happened that the set designers for Mission used the exact same model I use.

Have you ever spotted a piece of familiar hardware in a set? Have you ever noticed that in many films and TV shows that good guys always use Macintoshes while bad guys tend to use Windows/PCs? If you’re watching a horrible movie, have fun playing this game and keep your eyes peeled for junk in the background.

Water under the bridge

Finally!  At long last, the final evidence has made itself known, and a debate my wife and I used to have is finally resolved.  I WIN!  MUAHAHAHAHAHA!  Well… sort of.
“Why is he cackling like a madman?” you ask?  Before Marsha and I moved into our home in Port Williams, we used to buy bottled water quite regularly, and I was always sceptical of it’s alleged benefits.  As it turns out, my scepticism was warranted now that Aquafina, PepsiCo’s bottled-water product, has been forced to admit that the glorious clear spring from whence this elixir comes is just a regular faucet from the public water supply (article here).  That’s right… Aquafina is just tap water.

I say I only “sort of” won the debate because there’s no question that Marsha preferred the taste of their tap water over Wolfville’s & Windsor’s water, making it a worthwhile purchase.  Plus, since moving to Port Williams, I’ve come to appreciate her discerning tastes in water as I’m completely spoiled for our well water.  I carry around a Nalgene bottle all the time just so I won’t have to drink town water.  So, when it comes to taste, then Marsha wins that part of the debate… and she’s cackling maniacally as I type this. 

Spam Scam Sham

Like everyone else, I get a hefty dose of spam in my email. I don’t get to see most of it, thanks to server tools like spamassassin, blackhole lists like SORBS, and Google’s fairly effective GMail filtering. Every now and then, one or two slip through the cracks and land in my inbox, such as the email below. It’s difficult to believe that there’s still folks who fall for these “help me smuggle money out of my country” scams, but I suppose the measure of human greed knows no bounds.

Far be it from me to give a spammer more exposure, but this little number was so well written, so elegantly convincing, that it needed to be shared. I’ve never gotten so many laughs from a spam email in my life…

From: williamadams001@mchsi.com (William Adams)
Subject: business transaction
Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2007 19:32:25 +0000

DEAR :SIR / MADAM
I APOLOGIZE IF THE CONTENTS HERE UNDER ARE CONTRARY TO YOUR MORAL ETHICS. BUT PLEASE TREAT WITH ABSOLUTE SECRECY AND PERSONAL. I AM DR. adams william. SPECIAL ADVISER ON POLITICAL MATTERS TO PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE OF ZIMBABWE. DURING THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2002 IN ZIMBABWE, I WAS CHAIRMAN OF CAMPAIGN COMMITTEE OF MY PARTY, WHICH IS THE RULING PARTY. HUGE AMOUNT OF FUND WAS RELEASED TO MY OFFICE FOR EFFECTIVE CAMPAIGN AND TO MAKE SURE THAT PRESIDENT ROBERTS MUGABE WIN THE ELECTION AGAIN, WHICH ACTUALLY CAME TO PAST.THE FUND RELEASED TO MY OFFICE WAS TOO MUCH AND I WAS MANDATED TO MAKE USE OF THE FUND TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST ANY LUPE-HOLE OR HITCH WITHOUT! ACCOUNTABLE TO ANY PERSON/OFFICE. THE FUND WAS JUDICIOUSLY SPENT AND THE OBJECTIVE WAS ALSO ACHIEVED, AS I WAS ABLE TO SAVE SOME SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF FUND FOR MY PERSONAL USE,THIS FUND HAS BEEN DEPOSITED IN A FINANCE INSTITUTION FOR SAFEKEEPING AND TO ENABLE ME TO MAKE PROPER CONSULTATION ON THE TYPE OF BUSINESS, WHICH I WILL GO INTO AND THE COUNTRY WHERE THE FUND CAN BE FREELY INVESTED. THEREFORE, I SOLICIT FOR YOUR PARTNERSHIP IN THIS REGARD FOR YOU TO ASSIST ME TO RECEIVE THE FUND FROM THE FINANCE INSTITUTION, TO INVEST THE FUND IN YOUR COUNTRY AND IN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS SUCH AS, REAL ESTATE MANAGEMENT.AS I AM NOT A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY, AND TO ENABLE US TOGET THROUGH WITH THE INVESTMENT WITHOUT MUCH HINDRANCE FROM YOUR GOVERNMENT, I WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR A VERY POSITIVE ANSWER FROM YOU. AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU I SHALL LET YOU KNOW HOW TO MOVE THIS FOUNDS STRAIGHT TO YOUR ACCOUNT. WE ALSO WOULD WANT YOU TO GET MY FAMILY A GOOD HOME FOR HAVE MADE OUR PLANS TO SETTLE IN YOUR COUNTRY.the said funds is with security volt in london bank called nat wst bank plc,the total amount is fifty million dollars,you have to invest my seventy percent and take thirty for your self,please you can reply to me or my wife mail. christeastman000@hotmail.com
yours
adams william
urgent

I especially enjoyed the mixed case of “I AM DR. adams william.” I think I’ll print this one and frame it for the Walrus Pit.

Bloxorz

Here’s a fun, addictive little puzzle game… which Marsha will be hooked on in no time   Just use your arrow keys to put the block in the hole.  Easy, right?

Musical Interlude

If you happen to be perusing for a new Christian CD, then may I recommend this little number…

Many folks don’t realize that Bob Dylan not only converted to Christianity back in ‘79, but he also released three albums that were primarily his own gospel songs. This CD is a selection of his best from the albums “Slow Train Coming,” “Saved,” and “Shot of Love”, covered by some of the most powerful gospel singers around. Even a rabid anti-Dylanite (that means YOU Amy) will enjoy this collection of Dylan’s praises to God sung by others.

Tall Cool One

Ever have a sip from a nice, cold drink and then take several deep swallows, surprised at how thirsty you were? Sometimes we get so distracted by things that we fail to hear our body telling us that we’re hungry or dehydrated, until eating or drinking reminds us of how much we really needed it. I had one of those nice, cold drinks this afternoon when a brother in Christ took me out to lunch. I didn’t realize how much I needed to just sit and chat with a familiar brother until I’d actually done it. It took me forever to eat my food because I just couldn’t shut up, and it felt like one of my internal organs somewhere in there was saying “FINALLY!” Just wanted to share that in case someone else out there is feeling thirsty but doesn’t realize just how thirsty they are yet. Special thanks to my brother Bill for treating both my taste-buds and my spirit. God is good!

Walrus Household Tips

Do you find that your fresh brewed coffee is a little on the bitter side? Add a dash of table salt to the coffee grounds before brewing and you’ll be surprised by how much better it tastes. After all, that’s all the secret “Folger’s crystals” are. And speaking of salt, here on the humid eastern seaboard, salt has a nasty habit of absorbing moisture and becoming crusty. Here’s another tip – drop a teaspoon of uncooked white rice (it doesn’t matter if it’s instant or not) into your salt shaker. The rice will absorb any moisture and is too large to fit through the holes, leaving your salt abundantly shakeable! *shake-shake-shake*

Word Play

I thank God that He brought about the release of the 15 British sailors, and while I see Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s part in this drama as an effect rather than a cause (acting as an unwilling agent of God in the same way Pharaoh did in Exodus) I certainly praise his wise decision.  There was one aspect of this political incident, however, that made my blood boil – a final insult to injury that had me want to rip my hair out at the insanity of it all.

15 British military personnel entered Iranian territory without permission at a time when Iran is under constant threat of potential military reprisals for it’s attempt to assert it’s soveriegnty  in a geopolitical environment that seems set against them.  So, when a potentially hostile pack of foreign military personnel illegally enter your country – be they sailors, soldiers, paratroopers or whatnot – most countries would all react the same.  Arrest, detain, and interrogate the sailors.  When you legally arrest, detain and interrogate someone with just cause, we call that individual a “prisoner.”

According the the US and British media, however, those 15 sailors weren’t prisoners at all.  They were “hostages.”  Hostages?  Really?  Considering just how many individuals the US has in their custody at this very moment, without formal charges or trial, it seems to me that if Iran had hostages, so does the United States.  Hrm… so the US has the most weapons of mass destruction on the planet, a history of invading sovereign nations, and takes large numbers of hostages.

Who are we supposed to be worried about?

Compusician

While I’m not a musician, I do enjoy creating or arranging music on my computer just for the fun of it. I started doing a lot more with MIDI last year when it was discovered that none of the youth leaders in our fellowship really play any “normal” instruments. Pastor Randall plays bagpipes, and I toot on my harmonica but it’s a little hard to put together a worship band with that, so I started creating karaoke tracks for us to use in youth group.

Anyway, here’s one I’ve been working on for Easter, and I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out, so you’re welcome to grab it if you like.

• In Christ Alone (Townsend/Getty) with Flute lead (MP3)
• In Christ Alone (Townsend/Getty) without lead (MP3)
  

In Christ Alone (Townsend/Getty)

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost it’s grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Facebook Flashbacks

I must admit, I’m a little addicted to Facebook. I don’t spend a lot of time the site, but it’s definitely one of my frequent bookmarks and part of my morning computer & coffee* routine. Over the past few days it’s been especially interesting because of some of the people I’ve encountered and the resultant melancholy. For example, I came across a guy named Michael Sharpe, a decent guy with a nice family who lives in Ontario – who also happens to be the reason for my very first trip to the principle’s office back in elementary school. I haven’t seen or heard from him, or any of my childhood friends in Smiths Falls, Ontario since my family and I moved back to Nova Scotia when I was 13, so it was quite cool to be able to hear how his life unfolded.

Then I encountered the names of two adorable and incredibly brilliant young ladies that I taught at Newport Station elementary school back when I was teaching computer sciences there. They were identical twins (although I didn’t think they looked alike), and were among my favourite students because they were not only extremely intelligent, but very helpful when other students needed assistance. When I saw Lisa and Debbie’s website, I felt about 100 years old! They weren’t supposed to grow up! All of my students were supposed to stay kids forever!

Then I happened across Lana Baker, another elementary school acquaintance. Lana has been the stuff of legend in my household since the first time Alyssa had problems with a boy at school. In explaining to Alyssa how young boys are often incapable of dealing with their emotions, and because they don’t understand what to do with their feelings for a girl they like, they act like monkeys and annoy the ever lovin’ out of them, Lana was my prime example. As a kid, Lana was my first crush – probably because she had the most amazing platinum blonde hair as a child – and I used to trail around behind her with a couple of my friends (who shared a similar crush) and irritated her to our best ability. It was nice to apologize to her for being such a jerk as a child (even if it was only in grade 4) and even better to hear she didn’t remember it at all. Phew – no more guilt on that count.

Anyway, I just thought it was neat being able to connect with folks from days of yore. Add the fact that I don’t get spammed or annoyed by facebook and I’d have to say I’d recommend it as a pretty cool little service. Check it out.

*The “computer & coffee” routine is the daily morning practice of pouring a cup of coffee, plopping in front of a computer and catching up on what you missed during the night. Think of it as a breakfast of information – check email, read the news, peruse facebook, etc